Friends or Therapists

It can be a hard line to draw with your therapist. Are you friends, colleagues, acquaintances, or something else? Personally I think it is a unique relationship. Very few relationships are all about you but therapy is unique in that way, the client is definitely at the centre of it, our time together is about your challenges and your life. Therapists might share some things but the dynamic should be weighted towards the client. The relationship should be a positive one, and I always hope that my clients know that I care about them and try to make the environment as warm and welcoming as possible. Your therapist should be able to model a healthy dynamic in therapy, with appropriate boundaries.

Can I be friends with my therapist?

It may feel that you are friends with you therapist, that's great that you're comfortable with them. But it should still feel professional, this is someone you're trusting, maybe with some things you've never shared before. Most therapists won't be friends with you, this is to keep the relationship focused on therapy. This may change after a few years but that depends on the therapist.

One thing that can blur this line is if you see each other out and about, your therapist should discuss what will happen in this situation. For example, I will respond to a greeting but that's it. This is how I have decided it is best to keep my client relationships as safe as possible. I wouldn't know who you were with, and remember outside of the therapy room we can't guarantee confidentiality in the same way, we don't know who might overhear us.

Social media and therapists

In my experience most of the time therapists don't think that it is appropriate to be in contact with their clients in a personal way, especially during sessions. If social media accounts that claim to be your therapist reach out it may be an ethical breach (BACP guidelines) or it may be someone pretending to be you therapist. Either way I wouldn't advise talking to that account. One way to feel a bit more connected to them may be to follow them on their professional social media accounts. It's also a good way to get tips and see if there is some support you didn't know about.

My Instagram account

What do I do when therapy ends?

Therapists will all do this differently but you should be prepared for an ending. We understand that these are important relationships. We want to make sure that you experience this ending as positively as possible. I do this by making sure that you know an ending is coming, we work towards it. We will review any progress you've made and we will look at next steps. One thing I really like is to make sure that you still take that hour that would have been therapy and still give it to self care. It might also be an option to return to your therapist if they are private, most organisations can't allow that due to waiting times but for private therapist it will depend on their workload.